A drunk walks up to the only woman in a bar and attempts to kiss her. The woman slaps him so hard that he falls over. Picking himself up, the drunk looks her over closely and says, “Oh, geez, lady, I’m sorry. You’re a dead ringer for my wife-I thought you were her”.
Angrily, the woman replies, “What kind of woman would marry a miserable, worthless drunk like you?”
“My God,” the man says with widening eyes.
“You even sound just like her, too!”